I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
