member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
