): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
