Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
