He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
