i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
