I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My vagina just recognized that song.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
