You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
