the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
