You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
