You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
