you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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