swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize