There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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