Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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