Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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