I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize