I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's shark week go big or go home
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
