I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
