He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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