doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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