Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
