i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
