no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
