I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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