The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
