after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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