..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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