This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
