we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
They took my balls.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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