Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize