I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
