there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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