i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
