Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
