to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I am midnight drunk by noon
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
