His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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