i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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