ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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