i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
