walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
