I showed him my bush... on skype.
now i know why i became what i already was.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
