you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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