party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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