SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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