your room smells of hookers.
And success
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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