Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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