we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
