Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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