Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
