did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize