I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
