Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
