How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
