It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
