Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Come share oat with me in your robe
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize