I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
