Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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