The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize