just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
