i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize