why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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