there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
