By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize