After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
