Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
do nipples grow back?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
