He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
