Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
