Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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