Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
